Someone really smart once said that courage isn’t the absence of fear but rather acting despite it.
Let’s take this idea a little bit further: Think about all the things you would like to do or become. Beautiful outcomes of your actions that would change your life for the better:
Finding your soulmate by simply having the courage to ask someone out, being able to afford the goods or experiences that you have been wishing for, by asking your boss for a raise, or becoming the fit person you always wanted to be, by training regularly at the gym.
We sometimes dream of beautiful lives we almost have. Unfortunately, we often let our fears take control, so we end up finding excuses. We are always in a hurry, we’re too busy or it is not the right time. We’re too tired, too bored, not in the mood, ah, maybe I’ll start tomorrow…
But there comes a time when we need to get honest with ourselves, ask ourselves this:
- What is your goal?
There can be several. But I suggest you take one at a time.
My answer: becoming a better writer - What do you need to do to get there?
Usually, we have the answer, but knowledge on its own is in this case absolutely useless without action. And most of the time, lack of action is the result of fear.
My answer: write more every day and publish my work - For how long have you been having this dream?
Some of you might say a year, three years, a month and some would say a lifetime. We sometimes hold on to a goal for so long but do not do anything about it. It just stays latently in the back of our minds and becomes impossible, even if we know it is doable. It can come as a shock how much we could achieve if we did a little bit every single day.
My answer: since I was 10 - If you had started working on it then, where would you be now? What would you have achieved so far?
Think about a puzzle. One piece is insignificant alone, but all pieces together make sense, it means that you have achieved your goal. And when the puzzle is almost done you realize that one single piece is missing. So now, that lost piece has just become the most valuable one of all because the whole is not complete without it. Today maybe not be very significant to you, but days become weeks, weeks become months and months become years. Just like the pieces in the puzzle, today matters for the future You.
My answer: I would have probably published my second book - Where are you now in your journey to achieve your goal?
My answer: I have just published my third article on medium.
Sometimes looking at where you could have been and comparing it to where you are now, makes you realize how important it is to take one small step every day, rather than not taking any step at all. This brings me to the next question: - If you started working on your goal today and do so a little bit every single day, where could you be in a year?
My answer: I will have had published more than 50 articles on medium and who knows, maybe start my first book.
When you answer this one, please be honest and realistic, because this is your new milestone for the next 12 months. Your next goal … Who knows? You might even overachieve it. - What held you back from working on your dream until now?
This one is the trickiest of them all. Your first impulse will probably be to say that you didn’t have enough money, enough time or because this happened and that happened. So, I will rephrase this one for you:
7'. What were you afraid of?
And because this is a tough question I give you some variants:
Was it fear of failure, rejection, loneliness, disapproval, fear of the new, fear of losing, of being judged by others, of being laughed at, bullied, disappointment, Other____ ?(I would appreciate so much if you told me your fear)
My answer: I was afraid that my unpolished writing will be so bad and everyone will hate it. — Fear of disappointment and rejection.
And this is where we usually get stuck.
But you know what? I go back to question number 6. The only way I can achieve my goal is to write a little bit every single day and post as often as I can. Even if that means living my fear every single day. But every single day I will write a tiny bit better than the day before and my fear will grow weaker because surviving your worst fear, you often realize that it was not that bad. But do you know what else surviving your worst fear means? It means that you become courageous. And sometimes, all you need is three seconds of courage. That is the border between doing something or doing nothing. Between pressing the “Publish” button or not…
